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About Deviant Member nathanMale/United States Groups :iconour-dark-imagination: Our-Dark-Imagination
Reveal the Darkness Within
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Just letting all of you know that for the next 2 to 3 weeks I will not be able to be online much, let alone on deviantart, because of my job responsibilities.  So please don't get insulted that I don't respond to your messages or your artistic postings immediately.  It's just that I am busy and most likely haven't been online to view your message and your art work to comment on it or respond.  Please don't be insulted.  Life can be life and I want to make sure all of my followers don't feel like I'm neglecting them.  Thank you for your understanding.  :)


Nathan

Critiques

... by shiny-shadows-Art
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Her emotional state is very deeply shown in her facial features. Her crying tears, even though it runes her mascara, shows the overflow...

Cold Rage by shiny-shadows-Art

The sexuality of the girl shines through as "A Strong Woman and I am Proud". Furthermore, her eyes portray a certain sense of unworldly...

Hello Spring by shiny-shadows-Art

I absolutely love how you accented her natural beauty. She gives off a certain sense of sexiness that is not 'low class' but still want...

Lady Spider by shiny-shadows-Art

Been meaning to give a review of this piece for while now. So here it is. Your use of shades of purple, black, and whites complement ea...

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Looking to continue to post on Deviantart.com as a premium member but can't afford to be one. I would like to ask those who like my works to kindly donate towards that goal. I am very grateful for those do donate. Thank you very much. :)

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:iconmoodyblue:
MoodyBlue Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thx Nathan!            :+fav:

Introspection II by MoodyBlue        :)
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:iconfares002:
fares002 Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2014
:)
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:iconappsdata:
appsdata Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2014  Student General Artist
thanks for faving, can you watch me please?
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:iconvisorelle:
Visorelle Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
So despite having, like, 9% of the pageviews you have and only being here for 8% of the time that you have, I thought I'd leave a bit of commentary. Don't take anything too personally, I tend to go for the throat in reviews and I'd rather not be discouraging! Anyway, onward!

I was mostly skimming some of the written stuff you have here as I happened upon it. The ideas and concepts are definitely there, and while I could point out a lot of really small things that might make them a little better, the biggest things I noticed were flow and emotion.

The writing can, at times, feel a bit awkward to read. Sentences either stop at strange places, or more commonly, they repeat words extremely closely together. Many times, a specific, non-basic word (like the word 'change' for instance) would be repeated within the same paragraph, or also commonly, within the same sentence. It grows awkward to read if words like that are repeated too frequently.

The other thing I noticed was that the emotions were a bit wacky in characters. Characters tended not to have their own voice (many talk quite similar to one another / same word usage). Characters sometimes didn't react as realistically to their or other's changes as much as one might expect. Characters also tended to be overly calm at all times or react in a cliched manor at others. When they did show emotion like happiness or sadness, it tended to be fleeting, often lasting a single line. This typically doesn't happen to real people. *shrug*

In the end though, I do realize that isn't exactly meant to be serious work, or things like that. Heavens, I know I don't take my stuff that seriously. Even still, the idea is to make it as readable as possible to the reader, /especially/ in the, uh, interesting part of it. It's best to draw special attention to /that/, since it's what the readers come for specifically.

The best thing you need right now is a beta reader, to be honest. I don't have one at the moment, but I did for the longest time on other work before coming here, and they helped me develop my skill to roughly where it's at. You essentially need someone who will look over your work and basically point every single thing in your chapter that's wrong so that you can fix and hopefully not make those mistakes again. It's a really fast way to get pretty decent at writing!
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:iconchiantyvex:
ChiantyVex Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2014
Thank you for faving my work!!!Hug
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:iconfares002:
fares002 Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2014
Definitely.   :)
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:iconlord-storm:
Lord-Storm Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2014
Thanks for+fav 
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:iconchiantyvex:
ChiantyVex Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2014
Thank you so much for faving my work!:heart:
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:iconfares002:
fares002 Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2014
You're welcome.  :)
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:iconjoe-roberts:
Joe-Roberts Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
 Thanks for faving :)
Star Wars by Joe-Roberts 
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